Anyway, here it goes....
My son, the one diagnosed with autism, earns happy faces and sad faces depending on his behavior during each class period at school. This is not a perfect system, but I was trying to keep it simple for the teachers and therapists so it didn't take up too much of "their valuable time"...as if my time somehow isn't valuable. Don't get me wrong, good teachers are valuable and so is their time, but good teachers not only respect the children they are teaching but the parents as well and should also have respect for the position they hold. Sadly, I find that many teachers are lacking in this.
So......Wednesday of this week he comes home with his behavior chart and he has a sad face on it for gym class. This is what it said:
"Would not sit down-kept bothering chairs on stage-Took about 15 min individual time which was 15 minutes none of the others got gym"
Well......this remark made me angry to say the least, and I called the school to talk to the principal right away, but she was busy and still has not returned my call.
I had my daughter read it, just said "Here, read this and tell me what you think." She did and says, "That sounds kind of smart-alecky to me." and I should add, that since she is a teenager, the fact that she agreed with me, even though she did not know what I thought at that time, was a small miracle...Halleluah! (sp?)
We have been going through the process of having Case Conference Committee meetings to develop an IEP for my son for......hmmmmm.........5 years now. These are meetings you have to have in order to determine what services a child with special needs get while in school and trust me they are not for the weak....we have had 2 that lasted 7 hours, at the minimum they last 2 hours. Grueling to say the least.
I have asked for, and been turned down, an aide for my son, extra one on one attention for problem areas, asked that social skills be addressed at an early age, so as to help prevent some of the problems that can come when a child with autism does NOT receive any social skills instruction....always told no.
So, it is no surprise to me that he is having social and behavioral problems. I tried to prepare them for this, but they, the school did not want to listen.
But now, they want to blame me for his difficulty...or so it seems to me anyway.
I have literally given up weeks of my life, not all at once, to research how to best help my son, tried things with him to see what worked and didn't......and they do not want to benefit from my knowledge....WHY!
I'll tell you why, because I don't have a DEGREE...which puts letters behind my name.
This remark from this teacher, really hurt my feelings and I have been feeling down lately, partly because of that and also because of my husband's recent insensitivity (that would be a whole other blog, so I won't go into detail too much). My philosophy with Landon has been that we don't have to accept the prognosis for his life, we should change what we can, accept what we can't and ALWAYS hope for and PRAY for the very best. My dear, sweet husband wants us to be able to things like other couples, and bless his heart, he seems unwilling to accept the fact that, for now, we can't. He travels for his work and frequently on the trips back home, he might stop in Nashville, or someplace that is only a couple of hours away from home. He has asked me several times to "find a sitter for the kids and come join him in the hotel and we can drive home together the next day"....the first time he did this, I explained to him why we couldn't....
The main reason being that we have NO ONE that can watch and take care of our son that is autistic. I accept this, don't like it, but I accept it.
So, when he asked me yet again, for the 4th time.....it only made me more aware of just how crappy my life is.....never mind not being able to just pick up and take off to meet my hubby in a hotel, but planning a date can be like planning a war maneuver!
So, this along with the note from his teacher has sent me into a temporary mini-depression. I hate it when I am like this, I don't get anything done. I just want to sit on the couch and eat ice cream and watch movies.
But there is not rest for an autti-mom....that's a new term I just came up with....maybe it'll catch on like "metrosexual" LOL!
The autti-moms are always on the go, if your child is toddler, you don't sit down, NOT EVER! I know, I know all toddlers are busy, but an autistic toddler is like having 4, no 6 three years olds all at once and you are the ONLY ADULT! They are always sensory seeking..so you are on your toes constantly, and then they don't sleep well, so you don't sleep well. I'm talking frequent night wakings for years....and if you don't hear them, then they are into something while you are sleeping, so you have locks on all the cabinets, I still do, special locks on the doors, etc... As a mom, you are in a constant "flight or fight" mode, much like they are as well.
There will be more on this later. As my son has gotten older, he is still very active, but now we have the added therapy appointments, doctors appointments, and medications or supplements, and then just all the other more normal stuff you do for any kid.
I have gotten waaaaayyyyy off topic here, haven't I? Sorry, I tend to do that, and I also tend to ramble, comes from not being able to have adult conversation most of the time.
I will have to work on that...wait a minute....no I don't...this is my blog, I can get off topic and ramble as much as I want! Coooooool!
So, I have sent a long email to my son's principal about this insensitive remark and asked her to share it with the rest of the teachers, therapist, etc.... We'll see what happens tomorrow.
Good Night!
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