This is true for any holiday, not just Christmas and New Year's.
This year has been OK. No major meltdowns. I can just tell he is "out of sorts". No school, not as much structure, therapy sessions cancelled due to holidays, etc...all of those changes make him anxious and feeling the need to control as much as he can so he gets kind of bossy, whiny and emotional.
I do feel bad for him. I wish I knew what was going on in his head so I could help him better. He seems to be regressing some in his behavior. More mini-tantrums, more stuttering when he is talking, becoming obsessed with a certain activity or object. I try to keep things as calm as I can and as predictable, but that is so hard. I can't revolve everything we do around Landon's needs, but that seems to be what happens anyway. I try not to look at it that way and to explain it the other kids too. Many of the choices I make aren't to keep them from something but to keep ALL of them from having to deal with a MAJOR meltdown, or something embarrassing happening that I could've prevented. We do go out in public, to shop, restaurants, but they are short visits, so as not to overdo it for Landon and for my 3 year old as well. No one will be having a good time with a cranky 3 year old! and is autism-diagnosed brother! I just hope they see it that way. We do try do things with just our older two kids from time to time, where there aren't as many restrictions or rules, just something a little more "normal". I both love and hate that word....."NORMAL"......what does that mean
anyway????? I long to have a normal family, but I also hate that I feel like I need to fit some picture in most people's head of what is normal and what is not. We should all be loved, respected and treated the same no matter what our differences are.
Yes, my son can be difficult, and hard to deal with. He can throw tantrums still at age 8, for no apparent reason. We usually figure out the "why" later. He can be obsessive about things, asking to many questions, standing too close when he talks, he is a messy eater, he has a hard time with changes, and gets anxious in new situations, but he has not committed any crime or hurt anyone.....but it seems some criminals are more accepted in society than a child with a diagnosis of autism. I will not be ashamed of my son, nor will I allow my other children to be. I may be ashamed of his behavior, but that just means I have to work harder at correcting that in him, or teaching him what is appropriate......it doesn't mean I will hide him away, or lock him up, after all he hasn't broken any laws.
Plus I also feel bad for my other children. They have to put up with all of this as well. I hope they have enjoyed their Christmas. We are trying to think of something fun to do for New Year's.
Holidays are hard for me too. Greg doesn't say much, so I don't know about him. It seems like in the past year or so, it has become more and more apparent to me just how different Landon is from his same age peers. I wish I could change that. It hurts that he can't do so many of the things his classmates do, and I can tell he wants to, and I wish I could find a way to help him.
We got the kids a Wii for Christmas. He has tried so hard to play it, but he just can't do it. Partly it has to do with his fine motor skills and also with the visual tracking problem he has.
I need to start doing those exercises the eye doctor recommended to strengthen his eye muscles, but it seems like before I know it the day is gone and we have been busy the whole time. I have got to find time to squeeze those in. I want to be able to take him back to the optometrist and show that he has improved and that I did actually do them with him. The people at the doctors offices didn't seem to think that I would. Kind of weird, I know, but that is the impression I got.
Christmas and Birthdays are especially hard, because Landon doesn't really play with anything. So, it is ver hard to buy gifts for him. My other kids are happily playing with their new gifts and he seems not to know what to do with most of his. It is sad really. He tries to do things like his older brother, but much of it is so hard for him. I can tell he wants to. I just don't know how to help him. He seems to get frustrated with himself so easy. I wonder if he is beginning to realize he is "different"??? I have read that it happens around this age.
We have had some happy moments too. Christmas morning was fun, my other children were definitely surprised by the Wii, it was not expected. Plus we were just able to give them a bit better Christmas than the past few years since Greg is now working more steadily.
I just wish I could give them a Christmas free of meltdowns, special diets, supplements and autism. That would be the best Christmas of all....well, gotta go, Landon put a magnet down the toilet! That's a new one.
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